What is masking and why does it happen?
4-Minute Read
Many autistic people spend a huge portion of their lives "masking." But what exactly does that mean, and why is it so common?
Masking, also known as “camouflaging,” is when autistic people consciously or unconsciously suppress parts of themselves in order to fit in with non-autistic, neurotypical expectations.
Masking can involve forcing eye contact, mimicking social cues, suppressing stimming behaviors, scripting conversations, or staying silent when something is dysregulating. Many of these behaviors can be uncomfortable for autistic individuals, usually because they go against how their brains are inherently wired.
But masking isn’t about being deceptive. It’s often about survival.
Autistic people may mask to:
Stay safe - many have learned through experience that portraying stereotypical autistic behaviors leads to bullying, exclusion, punishment, or being misunderstood
Avoid judgment - in a world that treats neurotypical behavior as the default, there's pressure to conform, especially in schools, workplaces, and public spaces
Maintain relationships - some people mask to prevent conflict, to meet others’ expectations, or because they’ve been taught that their natural behaviors are “wrong”
Get by - sometimes, masking is the only way to hold a job, attend class, or navigate systems not designed with autistic people in mind
This pressure can start early, often in childhood, when adults reward “compliant” behaviors and discourage signs of distress or difference, even unintentionally.
However, while masking might help someone get through the day, it often comes at a high cost. Many autistic people describe intense exhaustion, anxiety, or burnout after long periods of masking. It can also lead to:
Loss of identity - Constantly pretending to be someone else can leave people unsure of who they really are.
Mental health struggles - Research links long-term masking with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and even suicidal ideation
Delayed diagnosis - People who mask well (especially women, girls, and people of color) are often overlooked or misdiagnosed, because their struggles aren’t visible
What happens when we stop masking?
For many autistic people, unmasking is a process of healing and self-discovery. It means allowing themselves to stim, to speak or not speak, to take sensory breaks, and to say “no” when something doesn’t feel okay. It also means finding environments where authenticity is accepted, and ideally, celebrated.
But unmasking isn’t always safe or possible for everyone, especially in spaces that aren’t neurodiversity affirming. That’s why the conversation about masking isn’t just personal. Creating safer, more accepting environments means autistic people won’t have to choose between being themselves and being safe.
If you are a parent, educator, therapist, or ally, here’s how you can support autistic people in unmasking.
Validate differences
Instead of praising someone for “blending in” or using language like “high-functioning” because they seem neurotypical, affirm the value of neurodivergent communication, expression, and behavior. Let them know it’s okay to be themselves, especially when that looks different from what’s typical. Celebrate their stims, their interests, their silences, and their voice, however it shows up.
Make space for stimming, AAC, and sensory needs
Stimming isn’t a distraction or a sign of distress, it can be soothing, joyful, and regulating. Allow it to happen freely. The same goes for AAC: never treat speech as the only acceptable form of communication. If someone needs sunglasses indoors, noise-canceling headphones, or time away from a busy space, respect those needs without questioning them.
Listen without judgment
Masking can be invisible. Just because someone is speaking calmly, making eye contact, or smiling doesn’t mean they’re okay. Create space by listening with curiosity instead of assumptions. If someone tells you that they’ve been masking, believe them, and don’t minimize or correct what they’re telling you.
Challenge ableism
Ask questions like: Why do we expect autistic people to hide who they are to be accepted? Question environments that demand and encourage compliance over connection. Speak up when you see discrimination, exclusion, or policies that punish neurodivergent behavior. Normalize difference in your classrooms, homes, and workplaces, not just with words, but with action and advocacy.
Supporting unmasking means building a world where being autistic isn't something that needs to be hidden. It starts with recognizing that the problem isn’t in the person, it’s in the pressure to pretend.
~Chloe