Why isn't my child talking?
4 Minute Read
Over the past few years working as a clinician I’ve been asked the same question by many parents: "Why isn’t my child talking?"
These parents come to me looking for answers, asking things like:
Is it because I exposed them to noise toys (battery-powered toys)?
Are they just being stubborn and choosing not to speak?
Will they never talk now that they’ve reached 5 years old?
Is it because they’ve been taught to use sign language or an AAC device, and it’s easier for them?
Are they just not motivated to communicate with me?
Yes, these are real questions that I’ve been asked, and no, none of them are the reason that your child is not talking.
When I get these questions, my response, first and foremost, is that speech and communication are two different things.
Communication is the exchange of information. Speech is one way to do that - just through verbal sounds. Communication is an umbrella. Speech fits underneath it, but it’s not the only part. And it’s definitely not the only valid or valuable way to connect.
Let me be very clear: your child is already communicating with you. Every day, in everything that they do.
When they scream, bite, or drop to the ground, they might be telling you they're overwhelmed, frustrated, or in sensory distress. When they leave the dinner table, it could mean they’re full, not hungry, or maybe they just don’t like the food. When they take your hands and place them on their body, they may be asking for a hug, tickles, or deep pressure to help them feel regulated.
Just like some wheelchair users will never walk, some people will never speak. And that is okay, not speaking doesn’t mean not communicating.
There is research exploring why some autistic people don’t develop spoken language, and it points to a range of neurological, motor, sensory, and cognitive factors, not simply behavioral or motivational issues, as outdated therapy models suggest. Here are some key areas of research:
Motor speech disorders (e.g., childhood apraxia of speech or childhood dysarthria)
A significant number of nonspeaking or minimally speaking autistic children have motor planning difficulties that affect the ability to coordinate speech movements. Tierney et al. (2015) found that up to 63% of nonspeaking autistic children in their study had signs of apraxia.
Oral motor and sensory integration challenges
Difficulties in coordinating breathing, oral motor movements, and sensory feedback can interfere with speech production. Belmonte et al. (2004) and others have noted that sensory-motor integration issues are common in autistic individuals.
Neurological differences
Brain imaging studies show atypical connectivity in language-related areas (like Broca’s and Wernicke’s areas) and disruptions in how different brain regions communicate. Redcay & Courchesne (2008) found underconnectivity in language networks in some autistic individuals.
Co-occurring intellectual or developmental disabilities
Some nonspeaking autistic children also have co-occurring intellectual disabilities or global developmental delays, which may impact speech, but not always. Many nonspeaking individuals have normal or high cognitive abilities, so this is not a blanket explanation.
Lack of access to effective communication supports
When children are not given access to AAC or alternative methods of expression early on, their communication development (including speech) may stagnate. Research consistently shows that AAC use does not hinder speech and often enhances it (Millar et al., 2006).
Every child deserves to be heard, whether through speech, gestures, signs, AAC, or behavior. Instead of focusing on when or if your child will talk, try to focus on how they are already communicating and how you can support them in expressing themselves in the way they choose. Whether your child is speaking or not, they are telling you so much. Keep listening.
~Chloe